FREEGAN status

27 Apr

Oh to be partially freegan.

My roommate brought us home this delightful conglomeration of what we assume to be the dough of mass amounts of raisin bagels. Our freedar usually goes off as we near The House of Bagels. Descending upon the bins like vultures may attract wondering eyes. Not to worry, the people are only jealous because they did not get there first. Do not fret. Note that germs shudder at the excruciating heat as they are baked to death. Resetting the scene: She dropped the heap. It landed with a dull thud onto our burned and crusty red Martha Stewart baking sheet, you know, the unreliable plastic looking one that gets all willy nilly if you don’t hold on with two hands. In the oven it went for quite some time before the sickly sweet fumes took up every breathable molecule in the kitchen. Success! Perfectly crunchy on the outside while the innards were a doughy delight. Excellent.

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